Respect Movie: 3 Lessons from Aretha Franklin's Life

"Not that I have already obtained all this, or have already arrived at my goal, but I press on to take hold of that for which Christ Jesus took hold of me."

-Philippians 3:12.

1. Speak Up!

After being sexually abused as a young girl, Aretha shhut down. Her grandma kept asking and she refused to speak up. The experience often haunted her in her adulthood, as is evident by the the flashbacks she often experienced. Aretha never worked through it and it brought her to dark places. Here, the family referred to her behaviors as "the demons". As she progressed in life, it lead her to drink and smoke her life away, which made the situation worse. A classic example of the effects of not dealing with trauma is when her 2nd husband caressed her a couple times. At one point, she flinched and refused the affection. A moment later, she was shaking and eventually gave him a bloody nose when she went in survival mode. She could have been triggered by his touch, and began replaying the trauma in her head. This could have been linked to her childhood trauma, but also to the physical abuse she experienced at the hand of her 1st husband. If you have been abused in any way, speak up! It can be publically or privately to a therapist. Don't suffer alone. Don't suffer in silence.

2. Say "NO" unapologetically!

This is a great protective measure for your soul. It saves you from hurt and more trauma. There are times in the movie where Aretha said no to her father particularly. First, to be with her 1st husband, which caused her much pain, but it was a choice she made. There is power in choosing.

Another time we see this, her father tried to get her to do a tour in addition to her professional tour, but Aretha declined. She loved her father, but she knew he was asking her to do something that would drain her. After her no, he tried to manipulate her into doing it by asking if she had lost her mind. This was followed by my favorite line in the move; Jennifer replied "maybe I found it!" This is the level of UNapologetic we need to be when it comes to taking care of ourselves. Who can do two tours at once? People often ask of us things that serve them only; ridiculous things not realizing or not caring about the toll it will take on you. Please evaluate, make your decisions, and stick with it. Primarily, because when you're dealing with the consequences of not saying no when you should have, the people who manipulated you are nowhere to be found. They chillin, while you're stressin'!

3. Don't Ever Stop Praying

In her darkest moment, lowest of low, Aretha SSSqqqquuuueeeeeeeeeeeezzzze out a prayer, and the trajectory of her life changed. It went from night to day instantly. Don't you ever think that you're so deep in the pit that God can't change your situation in a moment. God is a God of signs, miracles, and wonders! And He's searching the earth to see who He can help! After Aretha wept and prayed, she got up and cleaned up the artifacts of the old, broken, and painful season! A little prayer in your weakest moment is as potent as the strongest current in the roughest sea; it will drive you in the direction your spirit longs for, but your flesh is too weak to carry you. You'd think speaking in tongues, worshipping, or calling someone who is stronger than you are would help. But you're not actually at your weakest moment in these times. You're in your darkest moments when you don't even have the energy to put yourself together to get to the church building, when you don't have the physical strength to release the tongue, or to even ask anyone to lay hands and pray for you. Your cry of desperation in these moments, God WILL NOT ignore.

Her entire career, all Aretha wanted was to create hits! After that pivotal prayer and crying out and reconnection with God, and with the saints! She recorded a gospel album, which became her best selling album of all time! One prayer in her darkest loneliness moment, healed her soul, and also gave her everything she ever wanted and then some! Don't ever stop praying!

What I'm Listening to:

1. Precious Lord, Take My Hand/ You've Got A Friend (Aretha Franklin)

2. Please Do Not Pass Me By (Fred Hammond)

3. There is a Fountain Filled with Blood (Jennifer Hudson & Skye Dakota Turner)